Hallowe’en Horror

If you’ve started reading this post expecting to find either:

a) some Hallowe’en related short horror stories,

or

b) a poem or post of my extolling the wondrous virtues of said day, then I’m afraid you need to move on…Nothing to see here.

Now shush. Don’t tell all those wonderful U.S friends I’ve met on Twitter this past year, but…..I really do dislike hate Hallowe’en. And there is not much I will say I hate, but I’m afraid to say it, I do loathe it with a passion. I think it is possibly the most ridiculous excuse to spend money the commercial western world has ever come up with. Ever. (And that includes Valentines Day and the releasing of the X factor single during Christmas week EVERY year for what seems like the last millennium.)

I will not go into detail about why I cannot stand it right now. I wrote a poem last year about it which is what this post essentially is, this short introduction aside. So you can read my thoughts below there.

Now, I am fully aware that as a result of this post, I may well be labelled a spoilsport, killjoy, old bag, wicked witch of the west etc…etc…but you know what? I don’t care! I used to be able to happily ignore the existence of Hallowe’en when I was child free, but now this will be the third year I have found myself carving up a pumpkin to make a Jack O Lantern (not something I creatively and aesthetically object to as they look nice and they cosy up the house and I can make soup from the remains). However, in addition to that, this year I have had to spend £10 on a vampire costume for the six year old to wear to his school’s Hallowe’en disco. I feel like I am being forced by society to go against all my previous principles. Things were slightly different when I was a girl of course. Now though? Oh now we live in the era of “I am entitled to EVERYTHING just because I or it exists,” and so we must comply otherwise our children will be bullied and labelled weirdos. (Because dressing up as horror characters (er..horror films are generally for 18+ audiences) and knocking on stranger’s doors for treats isn’t weird or plainly a ridiculous hypocrisy considering what we tell kids the rest of the year?)  I have already told everyone I know that if I ever allow him to go trick or treating they have permission to kick my butt to the end of never.

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Last years very basic Jack O Lantern attempt…

Not only that, but because I now know so many Americans (where Hallowe’en is an even bigger deal than it is here and always has been) I have been hearing about the blasted day non-stop since October 1st!

Therefore, I believe it is my duty to counter-balance all this Happy Hallowe’en Hullaboo with my own thoughts. Lonely as they may be. So, if like me, you are not a fan of this one day (I mean, honestly! I’m sure it lasts about a month now), then please, do enjoy my little anti-Hallowe’en rhyme.

 

Hallowe’en Horror

In dark days gone by

“When I were a lad,”

When ghosts and ghouls

Were truly horrid and bad,

Hallowe’en arrived,

And I ran scared…

Of witches and goblins

And bats eyes that stared.

Out of the blackness,

In the cold October night…

Lay the dreaded possibility

Of a Vampire’s bite.

Hardly daring to breathe…

Or climb up the stairs

Into the gloom, alone

On my neck, stood the hairs.

Lest I should chance upon,

And meet my own doom…

From a ghoulish fiend,

Or a witch on a broom.

All these terrors locked inside

For many a year…

Until common sense and age,

Made the ghosts disappear.

Now adult and wise

Hallowe’en I still dread,

But not for the fear of

Being found by the un-dead

Oh no! A new horror,

A new haunting arose…

Where upon my doorstep

Something tripled my woes.

For once every year,

On October thirty-first…

New phantoms appeared

Kids at their very worst.

In clichéd costumes

They wander the street,

Offering a trick…

Unless I do treat.

But imagination lacks much

 In these modern times.

And so often the tricks

Should be classified crimes.

They dress up (or down?)

And they pound on the door…

To plead for their treats,

But these children aren’t poor.

A most abhorrent tradition

This act has become,

Endorsed by the parents

Who call it ’armless ‘fun.’

Encouraging children to beg and

Expect to be given for free…

Everything they desire

Is this how it should be?

Think:

Do you give a soul-cake

To the poor and the needy?

Or dole out your sweets

To the needless and greedy?

And why do we ‘celebrate’

This charade to this day?

Does anyone know?

Can anyone say?

Derived from the festival

“All Hallow’s Eve”

Is it not time…

This ‘tradition’ we leave?

Yep, I love Autumn…but  warned you then this was coming. It’s just one thing we really can do without.

Next week’s poem of seasonal delight…Guy Fawkes night! 🙂

*In between writing this post and publishing it I read a great blog from one of my Twitter friends, more coherently and seriously giving the reasons as to why she doesn’t agree with Hallowe’en. She puts it very eloquently so please do check out her post here.

Thanks, as always, for reading and…please, whatever you do, don’t have nightmares. 🙂

4 Comments

Filed under General Rambliings

4 responses to “Hallowe’en Horror

  1. Just YES! At last a kindred spirit. I have, shock, horror, never allowed my children to trick or treat. They seem pretty well adjusted 🙂

    • I *knew* reading your blog we’d be on the same page! 🙂 We were not allowed to Trick or Treat as children either and we all turned out well enough too! I think! Certainly not spoilt!

  2. Aww, your Jack O’Lantern is cute! Yeah, I find the night itself a bit on the silly side – the last time it was a Saturday the wife and I just turned the lights out, didn’t put out any decorations and went out to a restaurant. And last year some older kids came to the door, without costumes, and could barely be bothered to mumble “uh, yeah, trick or treat.” Needless to say, they got nothing from our house! Still, we like the festive fall aspect of it so our decorations are always more cutesy than spooky. Totally sympathize with you though!

    • Ah I wondered if Canada was similar to the States or not. I’m guessing over the pond, folks only knock on doors if decorations are up? In this country we’ve just jumped on the Bandwagon but not applied any rules or etiquette to the proceedings. If I’m honest though I just don’t see the point of it all! 😀

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